Talk to waiters and some operators about serving children and watch their eyes-roll with disdain. There aren't many restaurants that prohibit children and most of my peers do not have the luxury of selecting who they serve. In light of that fact: if families were refused service on a regular basis there would be an awful lot of unemployed waiters. So while there are very few operations that openly discourage children in their dining rooms there is a general lack of information about how to serve them.

Those operations that solicit family business and children specifically have put a lot of effort in understanding the psychology, behavior and needs of children and their parents' dining experience. What are some important business considerations about kids eating out?

Kids don't dine alone: they always bring other people with them (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, their siblings, cousins and other assorted little pals). It's not that the kid's meal is the profitable sale as sometimes their food and beverage margin is even a loss! Their revenue value for the house and waiter is increased with the number of added diners in tow. Families want to have an enjoyable adult dining event with their children and waiters have a direct role in making that happen. More importantly the repeat business resulting from adults appreciating how the operation and waiter treated the most important thing in their lives: their children!

The surest way to loose control of a child is to treat them like one. Children old enough to respond to another human being appreciate honesty, respect, and interest, just like adults. The minute one starts to condescend to them, they sense it, and respond with the same defenses an adult would use. Waiters need to be calm in their interactions with children and families.

Some of my professional waiter associates are teachers. Here is some terms and techniques that have proven successful in the classroom for communicating with small children that would easily transfer to dining room communications.

Teacher Talk:

Loud talking: "please use your inside voice" Vs "outside voice" or "one-inch voice Vs six inch voice".

Interrupting: "You're walking over my words."

Personal interest: "I'm concerned about your safety. Please stay at your table as the staff may not see you when they are carrying hot plates".

Talk about what you want instead of what you don't want. "I'm concerned about your safety" Vs "You shouldn't do that".

Speak directly to the child quietly so as not to startle or create fear. Use their names whenever possible. Bend or shift your height to their level for effective eye contact and to pose a less threatening posture. Compliment them for good manners and positive restaurant behavior. Thank them for smiles.

Anticipating needs and reactions is a key factor in providing great service to families. Be prepared to "rush" for parents. Offer to "hold" orders for parents tending to children away form the table. Ask permission of parents to have children's meals started as soon as possible, if a child may order their choice, have drink refills (use a to-go soft cup with a lid to prevent spills), ordering desserts, or removing plates. Inform the parents of condiments on children’ orders to avoid dining complications resulting from "icky stuff" on their plate. Be prepared to offer familiar and comfortable children menu selections. Bring bibs or linen napkins moistened with warm water so the kids can be kept clean and tidy. Bring crackers to ward off hunger pangs. Ask parents about immediate needs to alleviate tantrums. If parents are reprimanding their child: stay out of it! All these efforts assist distracted or distressed parents in managing the dining experience for their entire family.

At times waiters need to be prepared for some simple distractions or diversions for pint-size guests. It can be as simple as seating families at table windows so the visual activities inside and out can be a diversion. Crayons with paper kid stickers and puzzles are some common amenities provided. I used a small hand puppet (with a happy expression) to engage restless or screaming little ones.

For my associates who suffer a phobia for children and families... please send them to my station. It is my pleasure to serve them and their parents. If they return again and ask for my station then I've doubled my sales and my income.

The greatest thing about this career of choice is we make a handsome living mostly by being nice to folks... figuring out what they want and just giving it to them without making them feel awkward or uncomfortable. One of the great pleasures (and profits) of this profession is that many of those "wet-nosed kids" whose bottles we warmed (not too hot) are now our regular clients! It might be their first high school prom, or their first business lunch, or they came to our station so they could propose to their sweetheart... and some have even come to our station to show us their new baby AND have dinner! They treat us with respect because we first gave it. That's why our business is referred to as "hospitality".

You were a baby too once, and if you are lucky enough to grow old, you will be fussy, wandering and burping at dinner in a restaurant again one day!

Paul C. Paz is a Hospitality Consultant & Author of the book Service At Its Best: Waiter-Waitress Training. First and foremost, however, Paul is a professional waiter. Paul can be found online at WaitersWorld, a site dedicated exclusively to those aspiring to gain personal, professional, and financial success plying the craft of Professional Waiter!