Director's Cut

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere." – Dr. Seuess. The wine world is no exception. A few items in search of an article:

So many suckers, so little time: A disabled California man has made a career of suing wineries for potential violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act. At 200 suits and counting, he just offered the whole industry a deal: let each winery pay him $250 and he’ll leave them alone for six months. Tony Soprano would be proud.

Life isn’t fair: Scientists have isolated a gene responsible for the beer belly. Only men have it.
Not for cellaring: The Southern Moravian harvest wine Burkak is drinkable for only four hours before going sour. Given the short window, it’s tempting to slam the stuff back as quickly as possible, but beware: you could become a victim of the Burkak Curse: The wine starts off at 5% alcohol, but continues to ferment in your stomach until it reaches 14% or 15%. Result: you keep getting drunk long after the party’s over.

Don’t ask; don’t smell: Wine producers in Beaujolais were awarded damages of $375,000 from Lyon Magazine, after they sued the publication, under an obscure defamation statute, for dubbing the entire 2002 Beaujolais vintage "vin de merde."

Why don’t we drink more German wine? Could names like Staatliche Weinbaudomane Schloss Bockelheimer Kupfergrube Kabinett Nahe have anything to do with it?

Real Headline: "French Chefs Ask Pope to Remove Gluttony from List of Seven Deadly Sins." Can lust be far behind?

But did they filter it? Two veteran Canadian winemakers drowned in their own fermentation tank this November. Silver Sage Winery owner Victor Manola fell in first. When winemaker Frank Supernack jumped in to help, both men were overcome by fumes. "I let the wine out of the tank," said Manola’s widow, Anna, "but it was too late." Members of the wine industry reportedly banded together to help her "get the wine to store shelves." Is that, um, really where we want it?

It’s American, stupid! Can you say "Meritage?" Coined and trademarked by a group of California producers to identify their Bordeaux-style blends, it’s a mix of "merit" and "heritage." And pronounced that way.

Attack of the killer grapes: The Tesco Corporation in England jumped on the enviro bandwagon this year, replacing their vineyard pesticides with natural predators, namely killer black widow spiders. Only problem: supermarket produce inspectors overlooked a few, which ended up in horrified shopper’s grocery bags. Hans Blix, take note.

Want fries with that Pouilly Fuissé?: Andrea Immer, Master Sommelier and Dean of Wine Studies at the French Culinary Institute, was named Wine Director for Target stores. Her first project: the "Wine-Made-Simple Tasting Wheel" which helps solve such common pairing dilemmas as Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (Merlot) and Campbells’ Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup (Sangiovese).

Thank you for sharing: An œnophile whose wife happens to be a gynocologist reports that wine has the same PH as a yeast infection.

Try this at home, kids: Kottybos is the ancient Greek game where you put a bowl on a pedestal in the middle of the room and see who can throw or spit wine into it from the furthest distance. TO-GA!!

Call it a Day: In 1910, Château Nodeau in the Côtes de Bourg was re-named Château Nodoz, to make it easier for Americans to pronounce. Current owners, investigating low sales, found that consumers were confused by the name: they didn’t know whether the wine got you drunk or sobered you up. Modern laws prevented them from changing it, so they bought a second estate. This, too, bombed in America, thanks to the distinctly un-PC name: Château Le Nègre. Third time’s the charm. Surely there was an estate that fit the U.S. market. Their third purchase? Château Galau. McWilliam’s Hanwood Estate S.E. Australia Chardonnay

s of comparing hundreds of wines for you makes sense, even if the result is rating an artistic creation with a number. Not perfect, but certainly helpful.
 

By Jennifer Rosen: http://www.vinchotzi.com